I'm now less than six months away from being 25 years old. When I was 18, I told myself I had time, I'd figure it out eventually. When I was 21, I realized I'd pretty much wasted the time it takes to get a Bachelor's degree. I told myself I needed to get going. Must get my life figured out. I had decided that by 23, because of it's mention in a few too many songs, I needed to have made a step. Well, 23 was a pretty terrible year for me. I lost a lot of things I had worked for. I lost a lot of myself. But, like all things, you lose a little to gain a lot. At 24, once again, I had no idea who I was. I had no idea what I was still here for, just that for some reason, I still was. I gave myself another year. By 25, if you haven't started classes for college you're joining the military.
Less than six months. There's a possibility it could happen, but I honestly feel it's up to too many uncontrollable variables. I need a job that works with school hours so I can continue to pay rent and live, while going to school full time so that financial aid/student loans can cover the school bills. If I want to continue driving, I need to replace my car before I get into this, in case I can't cover the added bills of car payments and increased insurance. I need to be able to count on my living situation. Should I have to move because any one of my room mates leaves, I suddenly have to commute to school. My parents will be down in Shelton, and there's no way in hell I can commute from Shelton to Bellevue for school.
To me, it's a daunting mess. I've been trying to not look at the big picture and focus on things one at a time. New job. Still unsuccessful in finding something that works out. Car breaks. Twice. I can fix it, but thanks for the distraction.
Yesterday, the realization that I was less than six months from turning 25, and not one step closer to school or a better future than I was when I was 18 hit me like a ton of bricks. It's depressing, knowing that you let yourself down. That you don't value yourself enough to make that happen. In seven years time. Fuck that's almost a doctorate.
When I was 18, I thought about joining the military. I decided against it, because I wanted to do these steps for myself. 7 years later, I haven't even made one.
Today, almost 7 full years later, I've given it thought.
I'd like to join the Navy.
The thought of serving on a boat or submarine, going places, sailing seas, etc. sounds like a better adventure than the life I'm leading currently. It's obviously not all sunshine and rainbows, but what about my job is? I'm so tired of working around a bunch of lazy, unmotivated people, who could care less about their job or career and the functions they need to fulfill as such. Customer service isn't hard. Washing cars isn't hard. Understanding the flow of my work place isn't hard. Yet, daily, there are at least a half dozen people that can't grasp that, because they just don't care to. I don't like washing cars, I wouldn't like turning wrenches, I wouldn't like fielding phone calls and communicating on behalf of someone who's too busy to, but if it's my job, I do it and I do it well, because if not, why bother? Honestly? If you're not going to do your job the best you can, why bother?
That's an attitude the military likes to see, and something I hope to find in it. People who are motivated to do their job either because they like it and want to, or because they don't give any less than their best. The pay scale is nearly directly what I make right now, except my job screwed me out of benefits this year. My 401k is literally a waste of money. I work with people I seriously dislike with a wrath so furious it can take self-restraint at times to keep from unleashing it. I don't get to go anywhere, really. I'm not technically locked into my job, but I certainly can't leave without another one ready to cover my bills. What about this is any better than serving in the military at it's worst?
The only real downside is that I won't get to visit with my parents with any frequency. I'm going to miss them like hell. I don't think I would've said that at 18, which upon reflection kinda makes me sad. But it also shows me just how much I've grown and come to understand in the 7 years I've wasted. Doing this will also give me the opportunity to send some extra money their way (since nearly all my bills will be gone while on Active Duty) which hopefully will help them get into their house sooner, help them live how they want to, rather than how they have to, and help pay off all of this sooner. They sacrificed the house we had and a lot of their time and goals to accomplish things that my sister and I wanted growing up, and I know that's what parents do, but it's not like they had much to give up. Since both my sister and I are out of their way, I'd like them to be able to finally start living for themselves and start accomplishing the things they want.
Thinking about this actually makes me excited. For once in quite some time now, I'm excited about something. I'm excited for opportunity to show myself that I'm not as worthless as I feel at times. Excited to get started on a positive change for my life. I'd like to use the Navy for college. I wouldn't mind going to Navy Officer, and the idea of retiring to a civilian government job, or staying in until retirement. These ideas I'm okay with. I'll know for certain once I've got a few years under my belt, but it sounds like a more solid plan than anything else I've ever tried (and failed at).
I believe my lease is up in June or July. I'm going to sell most of my junk I don't need, get the rest into storage or stash it with my parents. Come the end of this lease, I'm gonna ship off. Over to Chicago for "basic" and from there who knows. The possibilities have me ecstatic.
I don't know how well this is going to go over with my room mates/friends, but I'm pretty sure my parents will be supportive. As for anyone else, I don't care much, haha.
Here's to something positive in my life.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Weezer
I've kind of come back into a Weezer kick again. I've listened to the Blue Album and Pinkerton since they were released. My sister bought them, listened to them for a week, faded completely after a month both times and that's when I basically stole them from her. I remember on the days when I'd walk alone to or from school because of extracurricular activities back in middle school I would walk with my 40 second ESP Sony Discman. The Discman I had all the way into high school and then some. It's entire life, it was either playing the Blue Album or Pinkerton. Then in high school I was slapped with the Green Album out of nowhere. Last I had read up on them they were in Japan touring then they disappeared off the map. No one made any mention of studio time. That was added to the cycle of Weezer discs. Then, I think it was off Limewire that I found it, but I had an advance copy of Maladroit. If I remember correctly, it had 19 tracks. The album was trimmed to 15 and they were all re-recorded for the final take. I liked this raw sound a little better. Not to mention the 4 extra songs. I found this advance copy about 8 to 10 months before Maladroit was released. I listened to it so much, I was distraught to find that the solos were ruined for the album version. They didn't carry on, they were trimmed from solos down to riffs. For such an emotional and forward guy, the manipulation of his guitar is the music's emotion. I think that's why I dislike the album versions...
Well, anyway, Weezer is kind of my "single" music, if you will. I listen to it when I long for love, but know it'll just be better for me if I wait for the right love to come by. I'm not sure who that will be. Each time, though, I feel I've gotten a little closer towards my "dream." Probably why Only In Dreams is my favorite Weezer song, and more so, one of my favorite songs ever.
Give it a listen. Listen to the atmosphere the instruments create while his voice tells this story in a nearly dreamy-esque voice. Listen to that feeling go away for the first chorus, as if she gets ripped right away from him, then it falls back in. Then, listen for the build into him holding on to this dream. When it's all done, it drops off entirely and builds back in. This is where if you close your eyes, you will see exactly what he wants you to see. I honestly think the harmonies and various guitar parts in the last major build up are what helped me take love from my dreams and make it a reality. God I must've listened to this song thousands of times by now. I used to sleep to it every night in high school.
I'm still looking for this dream. I'm confident when I find her, she'll be something amazing.
Give it a listen.
Well, anyway, Weezer is kind of my "single" music, if you will. I listen to it when I long for love, but know it'll just be better for me if I wait for the right love to come by. I'm not sure who that will be. Each time, though, I feel I've gotten a little closer towards my "dream." Probably why Only In Dreams is my favorite Weezer song, and more so, one of my favorite songs ever.
Give it a listen. Listen to the atmosphere the instruments create while his voice tells this story in a nearly dreamy-esque voice. Listen to that feeling go away for the first chorus, as if she gets ripped right away from him, then it falls back in. Then, listen for the build into him holding on to this dream. When it's all done, it drops off entirely and builds back in. This is where if you close your eyes, you will see exactly what he wants you to see. I honestly think the harmonies and various guitar parts in the last major build up are what helped me take love from my dreams and make it a reality. God I must've listened to this song thousands of times by now. I used to sleep to it every night in high school.
I'm still looking for this dream. I'm confident when I find her, she'll be something amazing.
Give it a listen.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Bored. Moar questions.
So I'm bored. Can't sleep, as usual. Rather than writing some epically long and boring whine about love and how much I hate myself like I want to do, I think I'm gonna answer more questions. So, without further ado.
Do you need to know everything about someone’s past?
I'm incredibly curious by nature. I'll eventually have a copy of your past events in my head. My memory stores quite a bit, surprisingly, considering the things I've done to it...
Do you feel you have a purpose or calling in life?
No. At least not yet. I'm great at a lot of things. I've yet to find that one thing that I give a true passion into, and get true passion out of, aside from love.
Would you rather have a great friend you could share everything with or a great lover you can’t really talk to?
The whole purpose of relationships for me is that my lover becomes the closest friend I could ever ask for. I hold much more regard for others than for myself. If It came to it, I'd sacrifice the lover part for the best friend part.
Is the male or female body the closest to perfection?
I don't admire the male body. I admire my penis, but I think that's inherent in all guys. Scientifically, perfection would favor the male body.
Name a few people who you think have a perfect body?
Abagail Clancy... uhhmm.... Fuck I dunno really. I love hips. Big hips. Average legs, almost long. I'm a fan of boobs, the bigger the better. I like a big ass but not a ghetto booty. And I've put it off this long because I can't describe a face... I am pretty picky, so picky I don't even know what makes it til I see it...
Do you like kissing in public?
Yeah, but save the make-out sesh for somewhere a tad more private.
Would you date someone much older or younger than you?
Define much? Being 24, I won't dip below 21, and I'd prefer around 23-25. Maturity seems to be an issue the lower you dip, and much higher and girls expect me to have my act together =/
Name any 3 things that make you smile?
Love. Cameras. Good music.
Would you rather know everything about your girlfriend, or be regularly surprised?
It's my quest in life to find out everything. The more I find out that you've intentionally hidden, the less controllable that urge is. Honesty is paramount. If you've nothing to hide, then it should be pleasant!
We are all human, do you judge someone for a past indiscretion?
Depends on the indiscretion. Did they rape a child or cheat on a math test in college?
What do you think looks really sexy on a girl?
Sexy? Corsets are fun. Tattoos are almost better. Even the overdressed business look. If you can piece it together with a good fashionable eye, I'm probably turned on by it.
Do you have posters up on your room walls?
Am I 14? No. If I can recover some of my lost pictures and spare like, a grand, I'd like to get a couple canvas prints made of my photography...
What is your idea of a romantic date?
A good dinner. A long talk. An even longer drive. I dunno. I'm no good at these. I pretty much pull romance out of my ass, and surprisingly, it works most the time.
At what age do you wish to marry?
When I'm damn well ready. It won't matter how old I am, it matters how well I know my spouse... I've spent 5 years with someone only to have them become a completely different person. another 2 years with someone else who lied the entire time and went crazy. I can't rush myself into something because I'M getting old.
Which are your favorite colors? why?
Blue. It's dark, gloomy, but still hopeful.
What is the thing you love most about girls?
It usually changes per girl really. I've terribly addicted to endearment, independence, and yeah... I dunno.
If you had a lot of money, where would we go on vacation?
Eastern Europe. Great for photography and even better for night life... Electronic music that's actually good in dance clubs... Basically anywhere for photography.
What are your major goals in life?
To figure mine out. I want a love that supports me and encourages me. Find some job that will support me and my hobbies. Maybe one day turn those hobbies into an actual career. Have a family. Give back to mine...
What part of you do you love the most?
Hah, is this a trick question? You know I hate myself, right?
What part do you hate the most?
Hahaha You want me to pick just one?! My lack of self-motivation.
When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do to reduce the sadness?
Usually listen to sad music. My emotions seem to be regulated opposite what you'd expect. Sad music forces me to deal with whatever it is and get over it.
What according to you is the definition of a great relationship?
Uncontainable love. Undying commitment. An ability to take a joke and dish one out too.
What is your idea of a perfect girl?
Someone who actually expresses their interest in me. Makes me actually feel their love. Likes photography. Likes electronic music. Likes some video games. Has talents that makes them who they are. Rides a motorcycle?
What are the most important traits in a man, in your opinion?
Probably all the ones I don't have.
What are your 3 favorite leisure time activities?
Couldn't just say hobbies? Video games, photography, feeding my engineering brain.
What types of movies do you enjoy watching?
Good ones. Great stories. Love. Life or death. Corny.
What would you do if a bear came up to you and we were together in the forest?
Die. I don't carry a gun.
If deserted on an island, what three things would you want and why would you choose them?
Uhhm, does internet count as one? No? Awww.... Running shoes. A machete. A lighter until I get the hang of building a fire.
If you had a whole week to do things with your partner, what would you do?
Anything. Sit in and watch movies, go out and explore the world, doesn't matter as long as I'm with them.
You and your girlfriend are going to watch a movie, what three types of movies would you choose?
Studio Ghibli or Disney, Trilogies+, Bad Action (Big Trouble in Little China, Jean Claude Van Damme, etc.)
Tell me something about your childhood?
I probably wasted it.
How would you describe yourself using 5 different words?
Unsuccessful. Unattractive. Antisocial. Lonely. Awkward.
What would you like to change about yourself?
Nothing. Otherwise I wouldn't be me. Take the bad with the good.
If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
a ridiculous amount of money so I can do the things I want, like go to school, help my parents get their house going, and of course more selfish things, to be easily relocated to either London, Southern California, or possibly West Germany somewhere, and finally, to have any piece of photography equipment ever made available when I'd like.
Do you make friends easy? How many friends do you have?
I'm fairly anti-social. I could count them on a hand.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Honestly, same stupid rut, different stupid situation. Hopefully just out of school or just finishing up and getting on with a career for myself...
Who is your favorite hero of all time?
Since I'm listening to the Beatles, I'd like to say, the Beatles. Who else has changed so much about the world doing what they want and love to do? I can relate more easily to music than religion or something.
If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?
Seriously? Too much to do with a billion dollars, so I think I'll just buy a pony.
What would your dream house be like?
I'm thinking almost in the boonies, two story, fairly large, dark room in the basement, glass room on the roof with a balcony, with everything wired up for audio? Uhh, maybe a music practice room and a video game/theater room? Maybe a projector and a wall with a couple couches? Nothing too massive. Stars in the sky and trees around.
What makes you cry?
Myself.
What makes you laugh?
Other people.
Do you like kids?
Yeah.
If you wrote a journal entry about today, what would it say?
Nothing. Because that's what I did.
Which do you prefer giving or receiving? why?
Giving. Because I'm good at it. I like making people smile. Giving is what makes me happy.
What are your favorite and worst subjects at school? Why?
It's been a while... Fuck if I know :(
Do you currently play any sports? If so, what?
Does DDR count? I play it like it should.
Do you like to dance?
Haha, I'm no good at actual dancing, but I'll still go and have fun.
Do people tell you that you act older than your age?
No, but they probably would if I talked to more than my few friends.
Ever had an imaginary friend as a child?
No. I always wanted to though.
Ever been in a physical fight? If yes how many and who were they with?
Not a whole lot. Mostly in elementary school. Gave a kid a black eye. Threw a rock at another kid. Good times.
What's your definition of cheating someone?
...huh? I'm gonna go with "cheating on someone". My definition is anything you don't want to consent to them. If you kissed someone else and don't want to tell them, you FEEL like you cheated, though minor.
Have you ever cheated someone?
Nope. I never will either.
Good stuff. I'm still not really tired. Time for some music change. Thinking I need some Rocky Votolato. Wishing it wasn't on my fragged hard drive. Oh well. Last.FM help me out here.
Do you need to know everything about someone’s past?
I'm incredibly curious by nature. I'll eventually have a copy of your past events in my head. My memory stores quite a bit, surprisingly, considering the things I've done to it...
Do you feel you have a purpose or calling in life?
No. At least not yet. I'm great at a lot of things. I've yet to find that one thing that I give a true passion into, and get true passion out of, aside from love.
Would you rather have a great friend you could share everything with or a great lover you can’t really talk to?
The whole purpose of relationships for me is that my lover becomes the closest friend I could ever ask for. I hold much more regard for others than for myself. If It came to it, I'd sacrifice the lover part for the best friend part.
Is the male or female body the closest to perfection?
I don't admire the male body. I admire my penis, but I think that's inherent in all guys. Scientifically, perfection would favor the male body.
Name a few people who you think have a perfect body?
Abagail Clancy... uhhmm.... Fuck I dunno really. I love hips. Big hips. Average legs, almost long. I'm a fan of boobs, the bigger the better. I like a big ass but not a ghetto booty. And I've put it off this long because I can't describe a face... I am pretty picky, so picky I don't even know what makes it til I see it...
Do you like kissing in public?
Yeah, but save the make-out sesh for somewhere a tad more private.
Would you date someone much older or younger than you?
Define much? Being 24, I won't dip below 21, and I'd prefer around 23-25. Maturity seems to be an issue the lower you dip, and much higher and girls expect me to have my act together =/
Name any 3 things that make you smile?
Love. Cameras. Good music.
Would you rather know everything about your girlfriend, or be regularly surprised?
It's my quest in life to find out everything. The more I find out that you've intentionally hidden, the less controllable that urge is. Honesty is paramount. If you've nothing to hide, then it should be pleasant!
We are all human, do you judge someone for a past indiscretion?
Depends on the indiscretion. Did they rape a child or cheat on a math test in college?
What do you think looks really sexy on a girl?
Sexy? Corsets are fun. Tattoos are almost better. Even the overdressed business look. If you can piece it together with a good fashionable eye, I'm probably turned on by it.
Do you have posters up on your room walls?
Am I 14? No. If I can recover some of my lost pictures and spare like, a grand, I'd like to get a couple canvas prints made of my photography...
What is your idea of a romantic date?
A good dinner. A long talk. An even longer drive. I dunno. I'm no good at these. I pretty much pull romance out of my ass, and surprisingly, it works most the time.
At what age do you wish to marry?
When I'm damn well ready. It won't matter how old I am, it matters how well I know my spouse... I've spent 5 years with someone only to have them become a completely different person. another 2 years with someone else who lied the entire time and went crazy. I can't rush myself into something because I'M getting old.
Which are your favorite colors? why?
Blue. It's dark, gloomy, but still hopeful.
What is the thing you love most about girls?
It usually changes per girl really. I've terribly addicted to endearment, independence, and yeah... I dunno.
If you had a lot of money, where would we go on vacation?
Eastern Europe. Great for photography and even better for night life... Electronic music that's actually good in dance clubs... Basically anywhere for photography.
What are your major goals in life?
To figure mine out. I want a love that supports me and encourages me. Find some job that will support me and my hobbies. Maybe one day turn those hobbies into an actual career. Have a family. Give back to mine...
What part of you do you love the most?
Hah, is this a trick question? You know I hate myself, right?
What part do you hate the most?
Hahaha You want me to pick just one?! My lack of self-motivation.
When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do to reduce the sadness?
Usually listen to sad music. My emotions seem to be regulated opposite what you'd expect. Sad music forces me to deal with whatever it is and get over it.
What according to you is the definition of a great relationship?
Uncontainable love. Undying commitment. An ability to take a joke and dish one out too.
What is your idea of a perfect girl?
Someone who actually expresses their interest in me. Makes me actually feel their love. Likes photography. Likes electronic music. Likes some video games. Has talents that makes them who they are. Rides a motorcycle?
What are the most important traits in a man, in your opinion?
Probably all the ones I don't have.
What are your 3 favorite leisure time activities?
Couldn't just say hobbies? Video games, photography, feeding my engineering brain.
What types of movies do you enjoy watching?
Good ones. Great stories. Love. Life or death. Corny.
What would you do if a bear came up to you and we were together in the forest?
Die. I don't carry a gun.
If deserted on an island, what three things would you want and why would you choose them?
Uhhm, does internet count as one? No? Awww.... Running shoes. A machete. A lighter until I get the hang of building a fire.
If you had a whole week to do things with your partner, what would you do?
Anything. Sit in and watch movies, go out and explore the world, doesn't matter as long as I'm with them.
You and your girlfriend are going to watch a movie, what three types of movies would you choose?
Studio Ghibli or Disney, Trilogies+, Bad Action (Big Trouble in Little China, Jean Claude Van Damme, etc.)
Tell me something about your childhood?
I probably wasted it.
How would you describe yourself using 5 different words?
Unsuccessful. Unattractive. Antisocial. Lonely. Awkward.
What would you like to change about yourself?
Nothing. Otherwise I wouldn't be me. Take the bad with the good.
If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
a ridiculous amount of money so I can do the things I want, like go to school, help my parents get their house going, and of course more selfish things, to be easily relocated to either London, Southern California, or possibly West Germany somewhere, and finally, to have any piece of photography equipment ever made available when I'd like.
Do you make friends easy? How many friends do you have?
I'm fairly anti-social. I could count them on a hand.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Honestly, same stupid rut, different stupid situation. Hopefully just out of school or just finishing up and getting on with a career for myself...
Who is your favorite hero of all time?
Since I'm listening to the Beatles, I'd like to say, the Beatles. Who else has changed so much about the world doing what they want and love to do? I can relate more easily to music than religion or something.
If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?
Seriously? Too much to do with a billion dollars, so I think I'll just buy a pony.
What would your dream house be like?
I'm thinking almost in the boonies, two story, fairly large, dark room in the basement, glass room on the roof with a balcony, with everything wired up for audio? Uhh, maybe a music practice room and a video game/theater room? Maybe a projector and a wall with a couple couches? Nothing too massive. Stars in the sky and trees around.
What makes you cry?
Myself.
What makes you laugh?
Other people.
Do you like kids?
Yeah.
If you wrote a journal entry about today, what would it say?
Nothing. Because that's what I did.
Which do you prefer giving or receiving? why?
Giving. Because I'm good at it. I like making people smile. Giving is what makes me happy.
What are your favorite and worst subjects at school? Why?
It's been a while... Fuck if I know :(
Do you currently play any sports? If so, what?
Does DDR count? I play it like it should.
Do you like to dance?
Haha, I'm no good at actual dancing, but I'll still go and have fun.
Do people tell you that you act older than your age?
No, but they probably would if I talked to more than my few friends.
Ever had an imaginary friend as a child?
No. I always wanted to though.
Ever been in a physical fight? If yes how many and who were they with?
Not a whole lot. Mostly in elementary school. Gave a kid a black eye. Threw a rock at another kid. Good times.
What's your definition of cheating someone?
...huh? I'm gonna go with "cheating on someone". My definition is anything you don't want to consent to them. If you kissed someone else and don't want to tell them, you FEEL like you cheated, though minor.
Have you ever cheated someone?
Nope. I never will either.
Good stuff. I'm still not really tired. Time for some music change. Thinking I need some Rocky Votolato. Wishing it wasn't on my fragged hard drive. Oh well. Last.FM help me out here.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
50 Questions for Boyfriends Who No Longer Want Girlfriends
So through a tweet today I came across this article. Of course, being myself, these are all questions any girlfriend of any significant amount of time can actually answer. If she can't, well, she prolly won't be a girlfriend for a whole lot longer. I don't like poor communication. If something is important enough to be asked then the answer should be important enough to be heard and heeded.
Then I realized that I'm one of possibly only a handful of guys with a brain that functions in this manner. Your average guy would have answers very, very different from mine. The type of guy these questions are directed at (a.k.a. the Douchebag) would answer the same as the average guy, just in a more blunt and direct manner. Reading through them I hear my answers immediately, then in the back of my head I can hear exactly what your average guy would say. It occurred to me that should the Douchebag answer these questions, basically it would cause two potential reactions. Option #1, insecure girl who thinks the Douchebag is the hottest and best thing she can get will cling harder and explain that though these answers hurt, they'll try harder to be more understanding, etc. Option #2, your average girl would probably be so pissed that she'd just leave the guy.
So ladies, I'll provide you my answers, since they're so pertinent. I can't guarantee you'll like them, but you didn't ask me to tell you what you wanted to hear ;)
Here we go...
If you have to ask these questions (aside from a select few, like #49) of a guy you're dating, you're probably dating the wrong guy for you. That's your own fault. We nice guys see you. With that douchebag. Wonder why you're with him. Basically, we assume you're with him for money.
We're probably right.
Then I realized that I'm one of possibly only a handful of guys with a brain that functions in this manner. Your average guy would have answers very, very different from mine. The type of guy these questions are directed at (a.k.a. the Douchebag) would answer the same as the average guy, just in a more blunt and direct manner. Reading through them I hear my answers immediately, then in the back of my head I can hear exactly what your average guy would say. It occurred to me that should the Douchebag answer these questions, basically it would cause two potential reactions. Option #1, insecure girl who thinks the Douchebag is the hottest and best thing she can get will cling harder and explain that though these answers hurt, they'll try harder to be more understanding, etc. Option #2, your average girl would probably be so pissed that she'd just leave the guy.
So ladies, I'll provide you my answers, since they're so pertinent. I can't guarantee you'll like them, but you didn't ask me to tell you what you wanted to hear ;)
Here we go...
- Did you really think those Super Bowl ads were funny?
You watched the Super Bowl? I was playing Call of Duty. - Why do you take so long pooping?
Because it's my only time away from you when I'm with you. ...and I'm probably checking myself out in the mirror. - Why do you cup your balls so much?
Gotta be proud of something, right? I think someone's jealous of my hand warmer. - Bar soap or body wash?
Body Wash. You like my skin to be soft, it allows me to exfoliate. Oh, sorry, I wasn't supposed to know HOW to care for my skin, you were supposed to try and tell me and I was supposed to ignore you? - Why ask for my number if you’re not going to actually call?
Because I didn't think you were gonna give it to me. :) - Why the mindset that being in a long-term relationship is the end of fun?
Why the assumption that I think that? I'd prefer a long-term relationship, thanks. - Why are you so convinced that sex is so much more important for you than it is for women?
More assumptions, but my drive is probably higher than yours. It can be "equally as important" to both of us. I still win. - Do you ever fake orgasms?
No. I'm in it to win it! - Is there such a thing as “too slutty”?
Yes. When you wear fishnets to meet my parents. - What percentage of your female friends do you want to sleep with?
If I will actually call someone a friend and they're female, I've probably thought about it. There's easily a 50% rate to that question. - Have you cheated? How often?
Nope. I value love, honesty, and companionship. Do you? - Why do you always seem to be drawn to women who are dramatic?
I don't like drama. I like crazy girls because they usually channel all that energy and anger into the bedroom. Win, win situation. - Hypothetically speaking, do you remember what I was wearing when we first met?
Clothes, hopefully. If you weren't, you probably didn't make it to this questionnaire. - How often do you look at porn when your girlfriend isn’t home?
If she's not there it's guaranteed to happen. What else am I gonna look at? You won't send me pictures of you... - What is going through your head when we’re annoyed with you?
Nothing. To be fair, you probably didn't say anything. You probably just gave that heavy sigh and looked away, shifted weight to the foot opposing me, then dug in your purse for something. I know when you're annoyed. I don't care until you care to tell me. - Do you actually notice when it’s laundry day and we’re wearing old/unattractive panties or do they all look kinda the same to you?
Yes, I notice. Btw, you should get rid of that pair. - Seriously, isn’t watching six straight hours of football a bit too much?
I'd fucking die. Think of all the Call of Duty I'm missing out on. - Why do you continue to eat spicy foods if it only makes you feel sick?
It doesn't make me feel sick, it just makes me fart a lot. I like farting, but you'd think it gross, so I tell you it makes me feel sick. - What makes you think we will go see movies with guns/bombs/explosions if you will not go see rom-coms with us?
Guns/bombs/explosions? They're called action movies, Miss. Wtf is a rom-com? --Because men write scripts too. Men who know that in order to go see this movie, they need to get you to want to see it, and they get some hot guy to get banged up and somehow end up shirtless. While the hot girl is in underwear or something equally revealing. And sweaty. - If your mother started an argument with me, whose side would you be on?
Whoever's side was more logical. Remember that. - What do you have against special facial cleansers?
...for who, me? Fuck that, that requires time. For you? Honestly, if I'm dating you, you're probably pretty enough that you don't really need to worry about that kind of crap. - What does it feel like when you fall in love?
It feels like a dozen fuzzy puppies. Having all their fuzzy legs cut off. Oh seriously? I can't explain it, but I know it's the only reason I'm alive. To feel that. And possibly to see those puppies... - What are you really thinking during sex?
I'm listening to you like I listen to a car that's running rough. Are those lifters I hear? Hmm, valves need an adjustment. Slight miss. When's the last time I checked my distributor again? My idle is oscillating a little again... What? You're not happy I just made a metaphor between our love making and a car? - What is the one thing you wish girls did in bed that they never do?
That YOU never do? I've had girls that do it. ;) You already know, because I've already brought it up. You said you didn't want to. - What do dudes talk about when they are alone?
Farts. Halo. Cars. Woah that chick was hot. Oh hang on my girlfriend is calling. *click* Dude, did you catch what she asked me to get from the store? Oh well. Farts. Cars. Call of Duty. Farts. - Why do you just disappear? If you don’t want to keep dating me, why not just say something?
Because I have a job. Though few, I have friends also. If I didn't want to date you, I'd tell you. I'm not that pussy, thanks. - Why won’t you just buy a new pair of shoes?
Because these are comfy. Actually, I happen to like new kicks. - Why won’t you ask for directions?
Because there's a decent possibility I just wanted to get lost with you, but you ruined that by nagging at me to stop and ask for directions. The next time around, I forgot this happened. - What are your expectations of a romantic partner?
Cuddles. Good night texts. Expressed affection (I like being appreciated too). Putting out. As a side note, birth control. As a side note to the side note, during that green pill week, that you can be responsible enough to buy your own tampons. That you can drive a manual/standard transmission. Baked goods. Participation in video games or at least carnal knowledge of them so when I explain to you how I just accomplished something that increased my awesome meter, you can at least nod, smile, and say, "Good job, that sounded tough!" - Why do you enjoy video games so much?
Because in real life if I shot people I'd go to jail. Interactive books are way better. That's what the Neverending Story was about, right? Video games? - Why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?
More assumptions, I do, thank you very much. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate the guys you date, considering where your priorities lie... - Do you hate it when we ask you to kill the bugs or does it secretly make you feel kind of macho?
I take pride in killing things. Like the last of the milk in the fridge. - Have you ever slept with a prostitute?
I grew up in Tacoma. Would you? - What is my favorite flower? C’mon, surely you’ve been listening.
I have been listening. You haven't said it. But I'm buying you Gerber daisies, because regardless of your favorite flower, they're easy and cheap to get and when I send them to your work, your boss will think you're more pure and innocent and give you a raise. - Do you really like the way we taste down there?
Usually, yes. Every girl is different though. - If she cheated on you, would you take her back and try to save the relationship? If not, would you expect the same from her?
No, fucking slut. I don't cheat, so part two of this question is irrelevant, thanks. - Do you have a hard time if she’s more successful financially?
I'm down for a sugar momma. - If a woman gives birth, do you have a hard time seeing her as a sexual partner?
For at least the following twenty minutes after seeing your vagina stretched to the size of a cantaloupe, yes. I'll get over it eventually. Remember, sex is more important to me than you. - Why do you want to stick it in our butt so much? Don’t you think about poo?
I'm over that. I could care less about poo. Penises wash off, thank god. - If you were with a woman who never let you near her butt, would you be cool with that?
If she's still up for a spanking/groping during sex, yeah. - What’s worse: Marriage or loneliness?
Loneliness. It's like marriage but without half the bills covered. - Do you care if they’re real boobs or fakes?
...it's more important that I get to feel them and play with them. They're an anatomical luxury I was not provided with. If fake boobs or real boobs affect my ability to feel and play, then yes, I care. - Do you secretly wish we were virgins the first time we slept with you?
No. I'd like you to have some idea of what to do with my penis and to not cry about how much it hurts or lie there like a dead fish. - What does being kicked in the balls really feel like?
Like the worst cramps you could possibly imagine, fighting morning sickness, and having the wind knocked out of you all at the same time. But worse. - What do you think about when you’re going down on us?
Are those really my lifters or is it actually just my fuel injectors and I'm being paranoid about the lifters... - Does your mom really like me? Do you care?
No and no. - How was your first cunnilingus experience?
Great. Oh, with you? ... - Have you ever fantasized about one of my friends? A guy?
Probably. Probably not. - Does your dick feel like a dangling appendage when you run?
Yes and no. You'd expect a dangling appendage to develop some sort of rhythm based off your running pace, but penises just kind of flop against your clothing and balls, which get knocked around by your thighs, further irregulating this rhythm. We forget about this by staring at your ass. - Have you ever considered milking the prostate? I’ve heard it’s the jam!
Now who's obsessed with asses?
If you have to ask these questions (aside from a select few, like #49) of a guy you're dating, you're probably dating the wrong guy for you. That's your own fault. We nice guys see you. With that douchebag. Wonder why you're with him. Basically, we assume you're with him for money.
We're probably right.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Motorcycles: Day 2
So today was the last day of the MSF course. Again, it was hot as fuck. Nothing better than sweating so much that I'm pretty sure if my pants weren't relatively tight and my balls weren't mashed into a pulp against the tank/seat, I'd have sweat filled shoes from it running down my everything.
We finished the MSF DVD, along side the book, then took the written part of the test. I don't think a single person missed more than two, and our entire table aced it with 100%. Easy enough, especially when it's three answer multiple choice. You have one dead wrong answer and two 50/50's. A break for an hour, then on to more skills practice.
So we get our gear on and head out. What's the first thing of the day? Countersteering u-turns. The figure-8 box of doom. No warm up or recollection of skills. Who goes first? I do, of course. I didn't even make it INTO the box, hahaha. Eventually I figured out where I was supposed to be going, and put my foot down a bajillion times the first time through. Next was only a few thousand. I finally got the left, f'ed up the right. By the end of this session, I really wasn't confident in it. I later realized I wasn't sitting up straight, so it was harder to shift my weight, and I wasn't doing it effectively, as I aced that part for the test.
Having sustained a sufficient ego bruising, I figured it could only get better from there. And it did. Nothing but smooth sailing. Curves? Cake. Swerves? Pie. Emergency stopping? Not so much.
I apparently suck at emergency stopping. Well at least on that thing. I feel I may have been better at it, if I had been able to get more practice in at a PROPER SPEED. Like, 35 mph, say. Going like 15 mph isn't sufficient to feel the weight of the bike shift as you brake. The fork dive from getting on it happens when you're stopped, as it's popping back up. That's something I'll practice in a parking lot, after I get completely familiar with my brakes on MY bike. The good news? I'm great at locking the rear tire. Even better at it not changing direction during the slide. I locked it up 4 times. Yes, 4. Each time I came to a nice stop before putting my left foot calmly down, then my right. I also kept anticipating the stop too early.
This was what dinged my the most on the practical test. I totaled 87 / 100. Perfectly acceptable. Far from José's 100 / 100 (good job, asshole, hahahah), but not bad by any means. I lost 10 points for being at 23 feet when expected to stop in 11. Means that I didn't stop accelerating until I was in the cones, and I was easy on the rear. Whatever, no big deal. A great skill to have mastered as it can literally save your life, but that's what MORE PRACTICE is for. After all, isn't that something we should be doing regularly to maintain a sharp edge and usability of our skills? So, where'd the other 3 points come from?
The last part of the test. Curves. Where I was flying through them before, I was paranoid of overriding a line or knicking a cone, so I took it easy. Apparently just a tiny bit too easy. Believe me, I like to get down and dirty, leaning way the f over is thrillingly fun, but so is making sure you pass the course to get your endorsement and have even more fun on a bike you actually want.
So now it's time to get gear. Sometime after that, my dad is going to come up and cosign for the bike for me. José and I already tried and we both need cosigners. My dad put a stipulation of withdrawing the cosign if I get a speeding ticket. I'm not sure if that's incentive to be safe and ride properly (which I had generally planned on doing regardless), or incentive to get it paid off asap. I'm almost leaning towards the latter because the first thing out of both of their mouths was "As long as you don't pull a Lindsay on us." Shouldn't be too hard to do. Just don't waste your money anymore. Payments of $350/month will pay it off in 12 months. The sooner it's paid off, the sooner I can speed, haha, and the sooner I can buy a car that's not a piece of s.
I really need to work on shortening these up. Anyway, looking forward to the gear shopping. I want everything and I want it fashionable. Oh how I wish Heidi Slimane would make me a motorcycle outfit. Or maybe just that he made leather riding pants. I think I just got a boner.
We finished the MSF DVD, along side the book, then took the written part of the test. I don't think a single person missed more than two, and our entire table aced it with 100%. Easy enough, especially when it's three answer multiple choice. You have one dead wrong answer and two 50/50's. A break for an hour, then on to more skills practice.
So we get our gear on and head out. What's the first thing of the day? Countersteering u-turns. The figure-8 box of doom. No warm up or recollection of skills. Who goes first? I do, of course. I didn't even make it INTO the box, hahaha. Eventually I figured out where I was supposed to be going, and put my foot down a bajillion times the first time through. Next was only a few thousand. I finally got the left, f'ed up the right. By the end of this session, I really wasn't confident in it. I later realized I wasn't sitting up straight, so it was harder to shift my weight, and I wasn't doing it effectively, as I aced that part for the test.
Having sustained a sufficient ego bruising, I figured it could only get better from there. And it did. Nothing but smooth sailing. Curves? Cake. Swerves? Pie. Emergency stopping? Not so much.
I apparently suck at emergency stopping. Well at least on that thing. I feel I may have been better at it, if I had been able to get more practice in at a PROPER SPEED. Like, 35 mph, say. Going like 15 mph isn't sufficient to feel the weight of the bike shift as you brake. The fork dive from getting on it happens when you're stopped, as it's popping back up. That's something I'll practice in a parking lot, after I get completely familiar with my brakes on MY bike. The good news? I'm great at locking the rear tire. Even better at it not changing direction during the slide. I locked it up 4 times. Yes, 4. Each time I came to a nice stop before putting my left foot calmly down, then my right. I also kept anticipating the stop too early.
This was what dinged my the most on the practical test. I totaled 87 / 100. Perfectly acceptable. Far from José's 100 / 100 (good job, asshole, hahahah), but not bad by any means. I lost 10 points for being at 23 feet when expected to stop in 11. Means that I didn't stop accelerating until I was in the cones, and I was easy on the rear. Whatever, no big deal. A great skill to have mastered as it can literally save your life, but that's what MORE PRACTICE is for. After all, isn't that something we should be doing regularly to maintain a sharp edge and usability of our skills? So, where'd the other 3 points come from?
The last part of the test. Curves. Where I was flying through them before, I was paranoid of overriding a line or knicking a cone, so I took it easy. Apparently just a tiny bit too easy. Believe me, I like to get down and dirty, leaning way the f over is thrillingly fun, but so is making sure you pass the course to get your endorsement and have even more fun on a bike you actually want.
So now it's time to get gear. Sometime after that, my dad is going to come up and cosign for the bike for me. José and I already tried and we both need cosigners. My dad put a stipulation of withdrawing the cosign if I get a speeding ticket. I'm not sure if that's incentive to be safe and ride properly (which I had generally planned on doing regardless), or incentive to get it paid off asap. I'm almost leaning towards the latter because the first thing out of both of their mouths was "As long as you don't pull a Lindsay on us." Shouldn't be too hard to do. Just don't waste your money anymore. Payments of $350/month will pay it off in 12 months. The sooner it's paid off, the sooner I can speed, haha, and the sooner I can buy a car that's not a piece of s.
I really need to work on shortening these up. Anyway, looking forward to the gear shopping. I want everything and I want it fashionable. Oh how I wish Heidi Slimane would make me a motorcycle outfit. Or maybe just that he made leather riding pants. I think I just got a boner.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Motorcycles: Day 1
So, today I had my first day of the MSF Safety Course provided by Pacific Northwest Motorcycle Safety. What a fun time.
First was class time, which isn't always the most fun, but when I'm allowed to be the smart ass that I can be (well practiced since at least 5th grade), without it irritating the instructor, we all have fun. We learned all the crap that I've spent the last couple months constantly reminding myself of and thinking about to help me further understand the dynamics of motorcycling. Lunch break.
Second half of today was spent getting acquainted with and riding our motorcycles. The bikes provided ranged from Suzuki GZ250's to Honda Nighthawks or Yamaha 250's. I grabbed the one "Space Gray"ish Suzuki. We got all situated with where everything is, how to operate them, then we started them up and started feeling the friction zone, then power walking back and forth across the ride area.
Soon enough we were feet up riding around the area. Various exercises from low speed cornering, friction zone slaloming lightly and further, 2nd/3rd gear ovals leaning in and all that jazz. I pretty much did excellent on everything but the slaloms and some emergency braking.
My issue with the slaloms was mostly that I just didn't get the hang of my balance while manipulating that bike. Some reason I just don't feel comfortable on cruisers. I can lean over in a corner no problems, but going back and forth especially at lower speeds just doesn't feel right. Also, initially I was still working on steady throttle and more work in the friction zone. It's all stuff that I know will come in time, or that's how it feels. I was getting better at the slaloms but I wasn't able to consecutively nail them. I felt like I was going too slow, but couldn't go too fast or I just wouldn't make it. Never found that happy medium.
Emergency braking was fun, I just kept doing something wrong. Initially, I was too long, then not stable, then I was stable but managed to lock the rear up, haha. I fixed everything but bringing the distance down. I think that's mostly that I don't want to start too early. That will screw you come the final testing.
It was hot as hell. Like 80+ degrees today. We were in such a beautiful spot though, we lucked out. Right next to an airplane hangar, right next to the water, down on the docks at whatever military base area that is in Magnuson Park. It was hot, but the air was constantly blowing in off the water, which felt so amazing.... Awww yeahhhh. My only complaint is that I got sunburnt, and until I got a good seat, I was smashing my balls, hahaha.
I'm excited for tomorrow, the written, the testing, and hopefully obtaining my passing paper to go get my endorsement, and finally, the motorcycle that I've wanted since I was sixteen. Time to study, probably nap, and yeah.
First was class time, which isn't always the most fun, but when I'm allowed to be the smart ass that I can be (well practiced since at least 5th grade), without it irritating the instructor, we all have fun. We learned all the crap that I've spent the last couple months constantly reminding myself of and thinking about to help me further understand the dynamics of motorcycling. Lunch break.
Second half of today was spent getting acquainted with and riding our motorcycles. The bikes provided ranged from Suzuki GZ250's to Honda Nighthawks or Yamaha 250's. I grabbed the one "Space Gray"ish Suzuki. We got all situated with where everything is, how to operate them, then we started them up and started feeling the friction zone, then power walking back and forth across the ride area.
Soon enough we were feet up riding around the area. Various exercises from low speed cornering, friction zone slaloming lightly and further, 2nd/3rd gear ovals leaning in and all that jazz. I pretty much did excellent on everything but the slaloms and some emergency braking.
My issue with the slaloms was mostly that I just didn't get the hang of my balance while manipulating that bike. Some reason I just don't feel comfortable on cruisers. I can lean over in a corner no problems, but going back and forth especially at lower speeds just doesn't feel right. Also, initially I was still working on steady throttle and more work in the friction zone. It's all stuff that I know will come in time, or that's how it feels. I was getting better at the slaloms but I wasn't able to consecutively nail them. I felt like I was going too slow, but couldn't go too fast or I just wouldn't make it. Never found that happy medium.
Emergency braking was fun, I just kept doing something wrong. Initially, I was too long, then not stable, then I was stable but managed to lock the rear up, haha. I fixed everything but bringing the distance down. I think that's mostly that I don't want to start too early. That will screw you come the final testing.
It was hot as hell. Like 80+ degrees today. We were in such a beautiful spot though, we lucked out. Right next to an airplane hangar, right next to the water, down on the docks at whatever military base area that is in Magnuson Park. It was hot, but the air was constantly blowing in off the water, which felt so amazing.... Awww yeahhhh. My only complaint is that I got sunburnt, and until I got a good seat, I was smashing my balls, hahaha.
I'm excited for tomorrow, the written, the testing, and hopefully obtaining my passing paper to go get my endorsement, and finally, the motorcycle that I've wanted since I was sixteen. Time to study, probably nap, and yeah.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Testing
So this is pretty much a test. I used to do this all the time through various accounts which no one read, and figured that I might as well go back to it, since no one will read it anyway. All the way back to a xanga, livejournal, then to myspace... At some point I believe I had my own place that I totally built myself but just gave up on writing in, for lack of stuff to write. That's where I figure I'll pick up at. All I ever did was whine about something, so why not keep it up, right? That's probably why no one reads them ;)
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